Don't Mention It (Unmentionables)

Hello my Darlings,

There is something you should know about me. I adore underthings. Get used to it. I imagine I'll blog about variants of these types of garments often. Also, menswear but that's another day.

Behold:

Life Has Just Begun


In case the above link expires or you simply cannot be bothered with links I will tell you what serious gift lies behind the click....Agent Provocateur is opening a store in my Chicagoland Area. More specifically, on Oak Street in the Gold Coast.


Switch it up with a memory!
Picture it. It's 2004. I have just moved to Chicago. A friend wants to venture to Urban Outfitters and the only location at that time in Chicago was in the Gold Coast. On Rush Street. That fall day in 2004 I thought firmly to myself, "This is the first and last time I'll need to be down in this part of town."
In the daylight, Gold Coast is so very sweet. A little uppity and a lot tacky but if you've got the cash and no hobbies to put it into then you live and work and love in Gold Coast. These people care a LOT about valet parking, leashes for their children, and expensive jogging suits for going to the market. It's fine. Really, it's fine. I don't particularly enjoy being there but it is charming with it's non-jogging joggers and S&M toddlers. In the evening, they refer to it as Viagra Triangle and that's all I will say about that.

Flash it back a little more!
It's somewhere between 1999 and 2001 and I'm living and going to school in Athens, Ohio. I discover Agent Provocateur thanks to two things; a trusty google search engine and my extreme displeasure at the lack of underthings available in Athens. No one famous was modeling for them at the time but they certainly had a way with words (and whips!). Sign me up! There were no stores in the U.S. so it became a distant, comfortable dream. These items were not only out of my barista budget but I felt like these were special. I needed to earn them. These creations should be reserved for a more dauntless, sophisticated but deliciously exciting woman. I vowed to keep close tabs on this line.

And now!

Why....why why why why are they putting something I love in Gold Coast? I will have to go there. I will have to. But only at high noon before the Viagra has kicked in.

I am so excited for us, Chicago. I am just beside myself. Someone, pinch me!

luvins,
Rebecca

Baladoche (or My Europeanisms are Better than Yours)

So...Fancy and I had a Lakeview day on Sunday. Every once in a while we venture over to this side of town to enjoy things that are oh so Lakeview. This weeks trip included stops at vintage stores (thank you Greek Fisherman's cap for finding your way into my life), lingerie shopping (Fancy R's favorite), Akira on Diversey (who knew!), Ulta, a movie poster gazing moment at the Landmark (ahem, I will go see Madonnas new flick) and then a trip to Baladoche. I should say that I have been to Baladoche once before and had a wonderful experience. However, that was the first time. Things you should know about Baladoche:
- everything is imported directly from Europe
- there is a window that looks out onto the side walk where they hand you free samples

Now the first time I went the woman behind the counter was quite kind, patient and helpful. She made me feel like I could try a bunch of stuff and enforced that it was all well made products, but never made me feel the way I felt this second time. This time, I literally almost poured my cafe au lait on the guys head. I think he is one of the owners. He was 100% over bearing and completely rude. There is a rather large part of me that wants to give him my therapists number and say: Here. I am doing you the biggest favor of your life, because if you continue down this road your business will fail. Example: I wanted to buy some Danish butter/ honey busicuts for a friend of mine that is half Dutch. Conversation goes much like this....

Fancy S (that's me): Hi, may I have a packet of those buscuits?
Worker: Sure.
Dude that I can't stand (DTICS): Oh, coming in for the butter buscuits aren't we? They are so great have you had them before?
Fancy S: Yes I have. They are great!
DTICS: Oh, really....where have you had them before?
(strange that he is inquisitive about this, but ok....)
Fancy S: Um, I got some in Ohio after a friend of mine recommended them...
DTICS: No, like where did you get them. Do you eat them a lot?
Fancy R: We have some at our house...she said she got them in Ohio.
DTICS: Right, but where in Ohio...
Fancy S: At Jungle Jims - it's this large international market place, it's great! They have everything from all over the world.
DTICS: (offended) Well do they know someone that actually lives in Denmark? Because we get ours flown in every week fresh...
Fancy S: I don't know. Can I have my waffle now?
DTICS: Um, sure. So, you should try some of this chocalate. It's handcrafted for the Dutch Royal Family and we get it flown in fresh every week...blah blah blah...
(he prattles on for minutes about how wonderful the store is, throws a few phrases out in French, Italian and German. I am 100% not impressed.)
I hand him my credit card to pay and...
DTICS: Oh....what nationality is this last name? Polish?
Fancy S: No.
(pause)
DTICS: Ok, what is it?
(pause. I am very annoyed and don't want to play this came any more)
Fancy S: German. My last name is German.
DTICS: (says something in German. I don't respond) Where in Germany does this name come from?
Fancy S: I don't know. Somewhere in the Alsace Region. (turn to Fancy R) Let's go sit down. (turn back to DTICS) Can you bring us our coffee when it's ready, please?
DTICS: Oh sure no problem. It might take a while since we hand extract the espresso.
(we are already walking away)

Ugh. I mean jeez Louise. This place might have good (OVERPRICED) waffles, but I will run the other way if I see him in there again.

Chicago Suburbs. More than Ikea...promise.

Check. It. Out. Last night I learned that Schaumberg offers more than the monster Ikea. And it's call Medieval Times. Below is a recap of how to get taken advantage of by Disney and sort of like it.

Medieval Times - An Essay by Your Lady....

I am intrigued by the shear genius of this place called Medieval Times, and partially because you can tell it's run by Disney because of stuff like this:

We walk in, and are slightly confused, someone takes our tickets and immediately hands us a "pass" that we are to take to someone else. That someone puts a crown on our head (sorted by color so they can quickly identify you and your section) and shoves us through a door where someone else is taking our picture! Like immediately. I just kept thinking, Princess?!? Wait! I still have my coat on, I haven't checked to see what my hair looks like with this crown on! I have not applied lip gloss! Wait! Too late. Picture taken. Being ushered through another door. Whiz. Bang. Boom.

Present your pass to someone:

Someone: Would you like to take a tour of the dungeon, it takes about 15 minutes and you have 20 before the show starts.
Me: Um, yeah ok.
Someone: Great, that'll be two dollars apiece.
Me: (eyes get big, like, wait, what? so, I turn around, look at the group - who looks equal parts scared, confused and elated to be there - they shake their heads yes) Um, yeah, ok...let me just find my wallet...ok...here you go...um, where is the dungeon?
Someone: Through the door to your left.
Me: Ugh, ok....oh - and where do I confirm my announcement (I got them to announce Carter's birthday)?
Someone: Go through the door and look for the booth with a bunch of pointy hats.
Me: Yeah, ok...

I find the pointy hat booth and Cade distracts Carter while I speak with a maiden about the announcement I wish for them to make. This girl is no doubt attending drama school. She looks at me with the look of: I cannot believe that you are 25 and coming to this place for a birthday party. I look back at her with the look of: I can't believe you think this is a real acting job. After our stare down exchange, she confirms that the Lead Knight will in fact announce the birthday wish and that I have nothing to worry about. thank. you. very. much.


Onto the dungeon we go - or in other terms - through the twisted hallway that is most certainly not under ground.

So, this dungeon, which wasn't a dungeon at all but a little museum on torture devices, was actually really interesting. In the medieval times they really understood what it was to use a simple machine. Up until now, I had never seen an actual chastity belt and let's just say that if I were a dude I wouldn't be putting my "thing" anywhere close to one. I do however realize where the horrible term of (and I can't believe I am typing this) snatch comes from. Shudder!

Inside, we got charged for over priced beers from a wench and screamed our heads off for our knight - who didn't win. All in all, at the end of the night I was stuffed to the gills with roasted chicken, birthday cake, ale and potatoes (or pah-tah-toes). It was pretty fun. The horses definitly put on a good show of fancy footwork too - which ain't half bad.

Recommended: If you have the coin to drop do it for sure.

 

Put your lips together and blow....

Anyone can whistle, that's what they say...easy? Well, yes. There is nothing hard about the Whistler that just opened in Logan Square. It is easy on the eyes, the pocket book and the commute. There are some pretty fancy drinks on the menu as well...let me ask you a question. How does a rosemary cocktail sound? Delicious? I thought so. Hit the Whistler for some libations and check it out for yourself. Hope to see you there.

Goodbye for Now, Hello for Later - Fancy(s)