Sunday, March 15, 2009

A Gorilla Eating Demon is loose in Chicago

People of Earth. This is what I was talking about. Do you think this was easy for me to see before eight in the morning on my way to work? It was horrifying. I could not think of a way to save this gorilla from the demon gnawing on its shoulder without being late for work so I just let it fend for itself. I snapped a picture so I could warn you all.

Hope you're ok, Urban Gorilla.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

New Wave Coffee is Burning Down the House


I'm gonna keep this short, because, seriously this place speaks for itself. And, well you need to GO. New Wave Coffee has been open for about two months and hot damn! Who's excited? I am! And you will be after you hit this place up. Things they have that you will like:

1. Lots of seating
2. Good music
3. Super Mario Brothers - and yes, you can sit there and beat the whole game if you wish. I don't think they'll kick you out of the joint.
4. Very friendly staff

And - most importantly, drum roll please...........

5. They have EXCELLENT coffee. They serve Metropolis at New Wave, and lemme tell ya, they brew it properly so you can kiss that burnt espresso taste Buh-bye!

What are you doing still reading?!? Go! Go! Go!

New Wave (3103 W Logan / 2557 N Milwaukee | Logan Square, Chicago | 773-489-0646)

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Greetings from the Letter Press

I have an obsession.
I am in love with paper.
It's real. It's for real.
Finding a good paper store is like finding a good cell phone provider. There are many that vie for your attention but usually one or two that can fulfill your needs. Especially when one of those needs, is the need to be green (hey, the environment shouldn't have to pay for my love affair) - that is why I bring you this blog about the Paper Doll on Division.

The Holiday Season has passed us, Valentines have been mailed, but that is no reason to stop the presses. Friends, there is nothing I find fancier than a hand written note. Honest.

Do yourself a favor and sit down with some hot coca, a great pen and some fancy paper. Send a letter to the folks back home, that friend you miss, or that sibling far away. Tell them about all the fancy things you can do in Chicago during the winter months (and yes, it is still winter in March) so that they understand that, sure it's cold, but it's ok! There are things like ice skating and really cool waves that freeze on the lake mid move! Write them and let them know that you love them. That you miss them. That you would like your copy of TLC's Crazy, Sexy, Cool back. Please and thank you.

Whatever the tenor of your letter or the green of your thumb - Paper Doll has got your back.

My suggestion: Paper Doll (

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Unfancy things happen to good people.

There are millions of reasons to let winter get you down: sunless heavens, not a lick of natural earth anywhere (just ice over ice over ice), having to hide your miniskirt under giant down jackets. It's a shame, really. I understand that you might not be able to recall the feeling of your bare your arms on a bike ride to the Hideout and I can see how you may find it hard to imagine that this frozen tundra is the same Chicago in which you laid on Addison beach and watched the Wednesday night fireworks. I get it. You've got the winter blues. But, come on. That is no reason to dress like a gorilla.

I really cannot comprehend the mentality behind the fur coat. It's 2009. You don't look rich. You don't look chic. You look like a gorilla. Anyway, aren't those gorilla suits expensive? Why are you wearing it on the train? Is that your every day coat? Oh, stop! Do NOT make me laugh. I can't possibly take you seriously when you're dressed like a gorilla, anyway.

But listen. I'm not going to worry about the sudden surge of the Chicago gorilla population because eventually it will be spring and they will go away and I will rejoice. However, I must warn you all. There is a year round fashion disaster that is taking over the midwest. Brace your hearts and hide your children. It's called The Vera Bradley.

This quilted nonsense propagated, no doubt, from some color blind demon crouched in the most swarthy, unlit bowels of hell is the cause of all the injustice in the world. If I spot you with one of these monsters latched to your shoulder two things happen to you and I:

1. You will go on my enemy list.
2. I will say a prayer for you.

The fabrics used to create these...well, I guess they are supposed to be handbags, should be reserved to be used strictly to clean up spills. They are patterned so that you'll never know whether you are looking at a stain of questionable origin or if it is actually part of the horrendous pattern. You will NEVER know! The bags do not match or compliment ANYTHING that you own. I promise you. It does not matter what you are wearing. It does not "go".

Now, I have a confession. A tragedy to tell you. This is a true story. My sixteen year old sister and I are the only women in our entire extended family to not own one of these godforsaken bags. Though we were spared we had to watch it claim every other woman we are welded to by blood. Take heed, my friend. Do not allow this to happen to your loved ones. I made the mistake of going away to college and leaving my mother to fend for herself. She lost the battle in less than two years. It was a sad day.

So now that you know, you can't say I didn't warn you. My conscious can remain clear. Don't pay twice for over-priced quilted nonsense; once with cash and then for the rest of your life with your dignity.

Talking about unfancy things is quite exhausting but if I saved one single soul then I'm glad I did it.

Thanks for caring,

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The Logan Theatre - Ice Cream in the Winter Time

Shame on them. Shame. (I am wagging my finger right now.) Shammmmme. It has come to my attention that there are people who have been hating on the Logan Theater. Psh-ah! Now, now listen. I know: The seats are uncomfortable. The floors are sticky. But I have a question for you, Are you a Rockefeller? Cause I sure am not. Listen. This theatre shows movies (that are still in mass circulation I might add) for three dollars. Having trouble believing it? I'll type it again - THREE dollars. It's only three dollars. Which sounds a lot like free dollars if you ask me, because that is basically what it is. Yes, you should bring a hemorrhoid pillow. No, you should not expect the best sound quality. But, people, times are tough. You shouldn't have to suffer through a near economic melt down with no entertainment.

Do be sure to check frequently for your movie show time and date as they come and go like lovers in the night at this place.

Logan Square
2646 N Milwaukee Ave
(between Kedzie Ave & Sawyer Ave)
Chicago, IL 60647
(773) 252-0627

Lovings from the back row - Fancy S

Here we go again on our own...

Hello Kittens. It's the new year and that means ... lists. Write 'em down, stack 'em up, look at 'em in three months and see how far you have come! Here is my fancy list for the new year...

List One - The Importance of Being Fancy (or, why being a better human is more important than your foot ware, dare I say...)

I, Fancy S, vow to undertake the following fancy actions at least once a week:
- smile at a stranger. And not in a creepy way, but a nice, Hey how are you, happy you're alive and breathing, kind of way.
- learn one new grammatical rule (trust me you will all thank me for this one).
- try something I have never done before. This one doesn't have to be big - it could be dipping your fries into honey (which I recommend if you haven't tried it), finding a new band, trying a new food, etc.
- discover one new fact about a friend or family member. My friend, Fancy M, helps with this one as she emails questions to a group of us! Thanks M!
- give up my seat on the train and/or bus to someone who looks more tired than myself.
- cook a nice meal because I can - and do it cheaply!
- finish at least one full article in the Economist

This is just a partial list - however, I would love to get your comments on what you think is a fancy action and also what you have done this week that is FANCY!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Don't Mention It (Unmentionables)

Hello my Darlings,

There is something you should know about me. I adore underthings. Get used to it. I imagine I'll blog about variants of these types of garments often. Also, menswear but that's another day.


Life Has Just Begun

In case the above link expires or you simply cannot be bothered with links I will tell you what serious gift lies behind the click....Agent Provocateur is opening a store in my Chicagoland Area. More specifically, on Oak Street in the Gold Coast.

Switch it up with a memory!
Picture it. It's 2004. I have just moved to Chicago. A friend wants to venture to Urban Outfitters and the only location at that time in Chicago was in the Gold Coast. On Rush Street. That fall day in 2004 I thought firmly to myself, "This is the first and last time I'll need to be down in this part of town."
In the daylight, Gold Coast is so very sweet. A little uppity and a lot tacky but if you've got the cash and no hobbies to put it into then you live and work and love in Gold Coast. These people care a LOT about valet parking, leashes for their children, and expensive jogging suits for going to the market. It's fine. Really, it's fine. I don't particularly enjoy being there but it is charming with it's non-jogging joggers and S&M toddlers.
In the evening, they refer to it as Viagra Triangle and that's all I will say about that.

Flash it back a little more!
It's somewhere between 1999 and 2001 and I'm living and going to school in Athens, Ohio. I discover Agent Provocateur thanks to two things; a trusty google search engine and my extreme displeasure at the lack of underthings available in Athens. No one famous was modeling for them at the time but they certainly had a way with words (and whips!). Sign me up! There were no stores in the U.S. so it became a distant, comfortable dream. These items were not only out of my barista budget but I felt like these were special. I needed to earn them. These creations should be reserved for a more dauntless, sophisticated but deliciously exciting woman. I vowed to keep close tabs on this line.

And now!

Why....why why why why are they putting something I love in Gold Coast? I will have to go there. I will have to. But only at high noon before the Viagra has kicked in.

I am so excited for us, Chicago. I am just beside myself. Someone, pinch me!